Potion Girl
by Dragon Magic23
Summary: Ron and Harry set out to make the perfect girl but will it backfire on them? (Alternate Universe you'll see why! Just read!)
1. Default Chapter

Harry Potter and Ron Weasley sat in potions two class together arguing over which potion bottle to use next. The bottles around them contained green bubble mixtures to orange slosh. In front of them the black caldron was only missing one ingredient from their A.  
  
"The black ooze will back a bat I promise you Ron listen to me!" Harry analyzed while running over the words in the text book.  
  
"But the orange will make your hair fall out, I don't think our teacher would be too pleased if he drank that." Ron argued sticking a plastic stir stick in the ooze.  
  
"Yes but the purple goop isn't it either, that's some frog potion." Harry thought aloud as he turned to watch Hermonie walk by their table.  
  
"Having trouble again?" she asked looking at their confused and desperate faces.  
  
"Yeah a little." Harry admitted.  
  
"I was never good at potions." Ron pointed out.  
  
Hermonie looked over her shoulder cautiously and picked up the purple ooze and spilled a little so that the potion coughed out a puffy white cloud. She then winked and walked off to wash her hands and get rags to clean up.  
  
"She's good." Ron said to Harry as he lost his stir stick in the orange mixture.  
  
"We are done Professor!" Harry declared as the Professor looked up from his test tube and walked over to the caldron. He sniffed it a bit and dipped his wooden spoon in the mixture that was bubbling under the bunton burner.  
  
Harry held his breath, thought he didn't doubt Hermonie one bit. The professor took the bubbling florescent mixture to his mouth and sipped a little bit so that it splashed up on his mustache. Ron and Harry looked eagerly at their teacher but suddenly the teacher threw down the spoon and grabbed his neck.  
  
"Oh, that can't be good," Ron flinched.  
  
"Professor?" Harry asked but it was too late, the professor shrank down to a small size of a pea on the floor.  
  
"Potter you killed him!" Draco cried looking around the room.  
  
Hermonie dropped her beaker she was working on so that it shattered on the floor in thousands of tiny pieces. "Oh dear was it purple or red."  
  
"Red, where have you been Hermonie?" asked another student as Hermonie's face flushed.  
  
"Hermonie!!" Harry cried.  
  
"Bloody hell! What in the world do we do!" Ron panicked.  
  
As if Ron had said the magic words the professor shot back up into a gigantic size and hit his head on the high ceilings of the room. As he rubbed his head his body started twisting like gelatin and he shrank and twisted into the form of a pink frosted cake.  
  
"Wicked!" Ron cried but that remark bought him strange looks from the class. "I mean. . .in a bad way. . ."  
  
"Oh I really screwed up this time Harry!" Hermonie cried looking over the teacher. "I am sorry if you can hear me professor!"  
  
Harry just sighed, "I knew he shouldn't have tasted everyone's potions. We are only second years."  
  
"Well are you happy for what you did Potter?" Draco sneered crossing his arm.  
  
"He actually tastes pretty good." Ron admitted as he licked icing off his fingers.  
  
"RON!!!" Everyone cried so that Ron jumped back and swung his hand behind his back.  
  
"I'll go get someone to reverse this, make sure Ron doesn't eat anymore of the professor." Hermonie ordered as she walked to the door but there was suddenly a loud thunder that rang from the other potions first year class.  
  
"Oh!! Maybe the first years turned someone into a hamster again!" cried one of the students.  
  
"Better yet a ill-tempered crow that craps on everyone's heads!" another answered back as the massive class flowed out of the room by the little tiny door.  
  
Hermonie sighed as she looked back at Ron and Harry. All three of them stood there staring at one another knowing that it was now their duty to return the professor back to form.  
  
"You go, I'll stay here with Ron." Harry offered.  
  
"I don't think that is a good idea, Ron might tie you put and eat the professor." Hermonie pointed out as she nodded towards Ron dipping his fingers in the cake.  
  
"Ron!" Harry shouted.  
  
"It's a cake Harry. . .it's so good. . ." Ron wined.  
  
"We better come with you." Harry sighed dragging Ron out with him.  
  
A few minute latter the teacher the three had summoned to help entered the room and looked around for the blue icing cake. All she found was a pink icing cake, and that day being her birthday, she thought that it was all a plot to get her in the room to enjoy the cake they had baked for her. She smiled as she picked up the cake on it's doily and carried it in the teachers lounge to share with the teachers. 


	2. Ch 2

Back from holiday! Be on the look out for more updates. Read and note please!  
  
Harry and Ron waited in their potion class the very next day for the teacher to come and start class. Oddly enough the cake had been gone from the table where they had left it and there had been no signs of the teacher anywhere. It didn't worry them, only Hermione seemed to fret.  
  
"What if someone did eat it Harry. . .I would feel dreadfully awful!" Hermione moaned clanking her stir stick in the glass beaker.  
  
"Hey think about it this way, no home work." Ron suggest but then remembered Hermione liked home work.  
  
Dumbledoor entered the room a few seconds later with his long beard wagging and face grim with bad news. "Students, unfortunately we have lost our teacher for potions and defense against the dark arts to a cake accident."  
  
Everyone looked at Hermione and giggled knowing it was her fault. Hermione shrunk back in her chair as her face began to turn a pea green.  
  
"Hermione Granger will be your substitute until further notice." Dumbledoor announced as he turned and left the room.  
  
Hermione made her way to the front of the room and looked around at the snickering and laughing faces. Clearing her throat she began, " Let's start out with something simple."  
  
"Hey what about a cake potion?" Draco joked as the class cracked up. Hermione's face flushed with anger but she had left her wand at her table so she could not punish him.  
  
"We will start with a sleeping powder that will put any animal to sleep for ten minutes. Open the book to 120." Hermione continued.  
  
"Come on Hermione why can't we just goof off instead, it's better than this stuff." Ron grumbled.  
  
Harry elbowed him, "Ron stop making it difficult."  
  
Once the class settled down, books and paper were taken out and things got underway smoothly. Hermione seemed to be floating on top of her own perfect cloud as she made her way through the tables to make sure nothing was wrong. Draco on the other hand was mixing something else, and it wasn't sleeping powder.  
  
"Hey Weasley, want to see what Granger looks like as a snake?" Draco asked tapping the pink mixture in the beaker he just made.  
  
Ron rolled his eyes, "Not really Draco, besides how do you know that is the right potion?"  
  
Harry propped up his book and pointed to the previous page that had the snake formula on it. The worst thing on that page was the picture at the bottom of the half-human, half snake with yellow eyes and dried scales.  
  
"Draco you wouldn't. . ." Harry challenged.  
  
Draco laughed, "Watch me Potter, the only bad thing that will come for you is you won't get to kiss your lover."  
  
"Draco!" Ron cried but he had already gotten up from his seat and walked towards Hermione with a devilish grin.  
  
"Yes?" Hermione asked looking at Draco.  
  
Draco moved the beaker to the front of his body and was just about to say something witty when Ron and Harry bounded at him at the exact same time knocking him over and spilling the mixture on Neville instead. Neville wailed as his skin dried up and cracked like dried brown mud. His tongue split into a forked poker and his eyes grew tiny and yellow.  
  
"Neville!" Hermione cried seeing his transformed state. "Off to the nurse with you right away, I will whip up something to turn you back."  
  
"Whoa. . ." Ron commented as Neville ran out of the room hiding his face the best he could.  
  
"As for you three. . ." Hermione said her voice turning low and threatening. "Detention tonight."  
  
"Hermione, Ron and I were. . ." Harry started but Hermione walked off not hearing the rest of his excuse.  
  
Draco snickered, "Guess friendship and trust aren't her big things huh?"  
  
"Shut up you." Ron snapped punching Draco on the arm.  
  
~  
  
Later on that night the three boys reported to Hermione in the potion classroom. They were to create a potion that would have cured Neville even if Hermione already figured out the antidote.  
  
"This bites." Draco admitted tossing the stir stick up and down, catching it with one hand.  
  
"Well if someone had not tried to turn Hermione into a snake we wouldn't have this problem." Harry pointed out.  
  
"Oh cry me a river Potter." Draco snapped back.  
  
"I just wish sometimes that girls could be more tailored to our needs. Like Hermione today should have believed us that we did nothing but try to save her. Hermione's got the brains but that's about it in the ways of girls go." Ron thought aloud.  
  
"Well that's life Ron, you can't pick up a caldron and make the perfect girl." Harry truthfully said. Then all the boys stopped at this remark and looked at one another and back at the caldron in front of them.  
  
"You make everything in a potion, why not a girl?" Harry asked.  
  
Draco picked up the bottles, "Do we have everything we need?"  
  
"Who knows," Ron answered "No one has attempted this before."  
  
"Time to try then." Draco smiled rubbing his hands together in delight.  
  
Harry sighed, "I think we need to think this over before. . ." It was too late Draco and Ron already had started to throw mixtures into the pot creating large explosions of different colors that puffed and clogged the room. Once done with their mixture fetish, the room smelled faintly of onions and gasoline.  
  
"Nothing happened." Ron observed.  
  
"Yeah cause you guys just threw a bunch of mixtures in." Harry pointed out.  
  
Draco tapped the caldron with his wand, "Maybe it needs a spell?"  
  
"DAMIA SUDO FLUR!" Harry called in a joking matter but this sent the pot cluttering about the table as purple bubbles spilled out over the sides. The pot then proceeded to shudder so much that it was knocked off the table and clattered on the floor creating a puddle of purple ooze.  
  
"Um. . ." Ron said softly.  
  
"What did you say Potter?" Draco questioned watching the purple ooze continue bubbling.  
  
"I just said the animation spell for inanimate objects!" Harry declared.  
  
The ooze then twisted upwards and created a sculpture of dripping purple that seemed to be forming the structure of a 15 year old girl. The purple then began to harden as the drops made a waxy coffin for the body underneath it. Once all hardened, the purple ooze stopped bubbling and stood there silently.  
  
"Should we open it?" Ron asked tapping the ooze with his finger.  
  
Harry shook his head, "We don't know what it's going to look like!"  
  
Draco looked at the statue of the girl and then went off in the back room to come back with dissecting knives of a large size. Each of them cut with their knives until both sides of the waxy ooze opened to reveal a girl inside. She was wrapped up like an angel with her hands crossed over her bare chest and her eyes closed. Long blond hair fell to her shoulder as a very small body held her up.  
  
"Wow. . ." Harry admitted staring at the girl.  
  
"She's naked." Ron pointed out.  
  
Draco caught the girl as she fell backwards out of her womb of wax and gently laid her on the floor. There he started at her captured by her beauty also. Even with her eyes closed, she looked beautiful.  
  
"She's absolutely perfect." Draco admitted.  
  
"No, we don't know her personality." Harry corrected throwing a smock over the girl's naked body. Both Ron and Draco snapped out of their trance.  
  
"We need to give her a name." Ron listed.  
  
"And clothing." Harry added.  
  
"I call her." Draco broke in.  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I call her. She's my girlfriend." Draco explained.  
  
"Oh we'll let her decide." Harry said fairly.  
  
Ron thought for a moment about this, "What if she can't think for herself?"  
  
"Ron! We didn't make her a moron!" Harry yelled.  
  
With those exact words the girl's green eyes opened to look up at the arguing boys above her. She blinked her long eyelashes and yawned as if she had fallen asleep on the floor.  
  
Draco looked down at her and started to stutter like a babbling 1st year that had fallen in love. Harry and Ron looked at him and back at their creation that looked up at them smiling. Ron and Harry instantly turned into babbling 1st years.  
  
"Where am I?" The girl asked sitting up so that the smock fell off some of her body. She looked around seeming to like her surroundings.  
  
"You're at Hogwarts, a school for witchcraft and wizardry." Ron managed to say.  
  
"Oh? Who am I again? I seem to have lost my memory."  
  
"Your. . ." Draco started.  
  
"Flur." Harry answered. Harry then leaned down and put the smock on over her head blushing the whole time. "I think it's time to get you your school uniform."  
  
"Does she have to?" Ron questioned.  
  
"Ron!" Harry snapped. Harry then helped Flur up and gave her his robes. They then walked out of the room together in search of the headmaster. "If Hermione comes in don't say anything!"  
  
"Oh she is so mine. . ." Draco smiled dreamily.  
  
"You wish, she likes me." Ron argued.  
  
"Wait a minute, she is with Potter." Draco pointed out.  
  
"Yeah he's trying to steal her!"  
  
"Let's get him!" Draco cried running out the door, Ron following behind. 


End file.
